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Bartender Rants: The most annoying pickup line I get

Bartending at a nightclub on the weekends, every shift without fail I get ear fed with close to 100 pick up lines. All lame, some more inappropriate than others.
A few recent examples are

  • “ You look like a porn star, I love porn stars” (I was wearing a long sleeve top and jeans with my Js and he wasn’t talking about Porn Star shooters)
  • “You a bad girl? You look like a bad girl with all those tattoos” ( 1 of 50 other tattoo related pickups)
  • “Is that real?!!!” (In reference to my behind and usually my breasts as well)
  • “I’ll get a glass of water, and your number”
  • Me “ what can I get for you” Him “ what would I call a taste of you”
  • “What are you doing after work?”-“Sleeping”-“Sleeping with me?”

These are only a few of many, I deal with plenty of drunk dumb dumbs all night and it really doesn’t phase me, sometimes it makes me laugh. Most of the time I just pretend I don’t hear it and wonder how your mothers would react to hearing you say some of the things you say to women you know nothing about.

This year marks my 8th year of bartending and final year of bartending. Without fail recently, every shift I hear this one line, which actually makes me really frustrated; to the point that I will actually say something if the dude won’t let go of the topic.

They always start off with telling me how nice I am (thank you, I take pride in being a kind person) then they always continue with, “ Why are you a bartender, you are too pretty to be working at a bar”


Pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to work at a nightclub as a bartender if I wasn’t a personable and good-looking human being.

Here are my points in response to any of you guys who think that saying this to a female bartender is a good pickup line or compliment

  • I do this job for extra cash, I in fact do have a “REAL” job (I put quotations here because those of you who do not think that bartending is a real job, please give your head a shake. It’s extremely exhausting to be a good bartender, you have to be personable, extremely fast and deal with so much shit from sexual harassment to nearly getting vomited on, to being threatened, it’s not even funny)
  • You DO NOT KNOW ME, I could be the dumbest bitch on the block and that’s why I work at a bar
  • I am a bartender because I chose to be, my life, my choice, why are you questioning my decisions, again, YOU DO NOT KNOW ME
  • To work in the nightlife industry you have to be remotely good-looking
  • Are you saying that because someone is good-looking they deserve a “better” job? I’m confused by the statement because that’s not very fair for people who worked hard, going to school for 15 years plus to be a doctor and maybe they aren’t pretty in your books but I don’t deserve the job to perform your surgery just because you like my ass.

Next time you feel like complimenting your bartender, try something genuine, like:

  • You have fantastic style
  • I like your (appropriate feature like eyes etc)
  • Get to know her (if she’s not to busy), find a mutual interest and go on that

It’s really easy to be a gentleman and it’ll get you a lot more pussy than being a complete fucktard.

Give it a try sometime.

1 Comment

  1. Nathalie says

    Hahahaha….well said. I used to feel the same way when I worked at a bar before getting married. Sad to know that alot of man, now days, at the bar think first with their penis then talk under the influence of alcohol. So many passed by a potential wife with out knowing. They wake up the next day wondering why women think they are dumbass! I love what you do Riccia…i can’t wait to read the next one.


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