All posts tagged: relationships

Headed home, Initial thoughts

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Overcoming the fear of the unknown. It’s been 12 years since I’ve been home. Procrastination? Lack of time? Nothing to visit? No reason to be there? Just fear, it’s like when you hype up something for so long in your head, you keep building it up until you make yourself afraid of taking that initial chance. Kind of like losing your virginity. 

The last time I was home, it wasn’t good. My mother was having an episode and at 16, I ended up having to greyhound to my aunts place in Santa Cruz, that day and that 6 hour bus ride was one I’ve tried to get out of my head for years. So here I am today, happily married, planning for a future, making preparations for our future family. All the meanwhile theres this nagging anxiety in the back of my mind, knowing its my duty, with all the work I’ve done on myself throughout these years, mental growth, emotional growth and processes to drop my blame, victimization and learning to live with PTSD …

6 Guys who end up being a future waste of time

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Many of my girlfriends, myself included have dated some weirdos in the past, weirdos that after we finally managed to end these sort yet wasteful periods, we wished they just wouldn’t have happened in the first place. I’ve put together a short list of some of the horror story guys. What traits to watch for before you have dug yourself too deep. I feel like within the first month of regularly dating someone new, you know if they are exclusive relationship status worthy. What many women are willing to do too often is settle. Loneliness and low self worth play a huge factor for why we settle. We were all warned by specific actions that we all just chose to ignore. Don’t ignore the red flags, always go with your gut instinct. The self-adsorbed/delusional guy The guy who will only stare at himself in the closet mirrors while doing you from behind. We are all about self love but if it comes to a point that you’d rather stare at yourself in the mirror to …

Confessions of a cheater

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It’s taken me awhile to put this piece together, procrastination? Possibly, or maybe just the fact that it’s sometimes hard to face the facts and admit that you’ve been a piece of shit in your past. Young and dumb is the easiest way to explain my take on my past cheating ways. Let me begin with this statement, I didn’t always cheat on my past boyfriends, there were a few circumstances where I did and whether they “deserved it” or not, it happened. I have had relationships where I fully respected the other person and never even looked at another man, funnily enough, those were the relationships that I got cheated on and in return ended up having a hatred for cheaters (call it a double standard if you will but it did teach me to stop and think about my actions first. I hated how I felt whenever I found out I got cheated on and never wanted someone else to feel that way ever again) I would be lying if I said I’ve …

Tales from the eloping bride to be

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Part One If you follow me on social media you would be one of many who know from my bombardment of posts that I’ve recently got engaged. It’s been like I’ve been living in a fairytale from the moment Mike (my fiancée) came into my life. (More about that another time.) The engagement process hasn’t been long but I’ve already been getting the over whelming questions; ‘Whens the big day”, “Where” etc etc.This lead us to the discussion on exactly that, and the conclusion that eloping would be the best option for us, our relationship and our personalities. When Why wait? We both agreed that the sooner this happens, the better. We already know we want to spend the rest of our lives together; our love was all based on spontaneous choices leading us to each other why not continue that tradition we’ve built. Why We wanted this moment to be just about us, each other, not having to worry how everyone else is doing, timing, money or family drama. My idea was to also …